J!-E!-T!-S! HA-HA-HA

I only have one word to say, however I will say it many times...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

If you enjoy seeing a big fat kid throw a tantrum when he doesn't get his supe, 

then this video is for you. 

Lastly, It is obvious that New York and New Jersey only have one legitimate, professional football franchise. A team that never uses cheap talk to mask their insecurities. As Tom Coughlin always says, "Talk is cheap, play the game". So if you love math as much as I do, count along with me as I smile.

-G.O.L.

The Battle of California

Hello chumps and chimps. Well there's a big game tonight, the battle for California. It pairs the San Francisco 49ers against the San Diego Chargers. I might have embellished a bit. By big game I mean, regular game and by battle for California I mean, thumb wrestle for a state nobody wants. 

These two teams have so much potential but potential is only relative to how it's used. For example, an angry man with a knife, high on meth and making stabbing motions while running zig zag patterns in the street is potentially, dangerous. However, an angry man, high on meth making stabbing motions while running zig zag patterns on the moon, isn't. Anyway...

Chargers 24 49ers 17

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving ya bums. Let's get this outta the way. I got the Patriots over the Lions 34- 14. For the second game, I'm taking Saints over Cowgirls, 28-20. Lastly, Jets over the Bengals, 21-17.

On this Thanksgiving, remember...No coupling has ever gone together better than football and turkey. Just make sure the family shuts the F--- up while the games are on. Put Grandma in the basement and let her mumble to herself or have in depth conversations about life with her ghost cat named Marvin. Make the kids do laps in the yard to tire them out so they won't ask questions like, "What do clouds eat?" If they refuse to do laps in the yard, tell them that Santa will die if they don't. Remind Grandpa that he isn't a pilgrim and he didn't fight in a war called the Pilgrim-Indian battle royale. Above all eat till you s--- blood and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Dedicated to John Madden; founder of the 8 legged turkey.

Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House"

Hello football junkies and bettors anonymous 12 steppers. Welcome once again to Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House". Hope you made a fortune off last weeks picks, I know I did. We're in that weird part of the season where making picks is most difficult. Nobody has emerged as a clear favorite and teams that are not getting much attention from the media, will likely be playoff surprises. So be cautious and remember Al Pacino this week..."On Any Given Sunday...". Ok let's get started.

Disclaimer: Ghost of Lombardi is not responsible for any or all loss of possessions. Remember, bet wisely and friends never let friends bet drunk. A bird in the hand is worth two in the prostitute. A penny saved is just a f'in penny, so throw it in the garbage because they are worthless. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, he probably has AIDS. He who has the gold makes the rules, so find that greedy little bastard and tear his face off with a well built metal glove. It is better to have loved before and lost then to never have loved at all, bullshit. Every cloud has a silver lining; but only if you have diabetes and blurry vision. There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow and a gay leprechaun ready to blow you. Revenge is a dish best served cold, unless of course you serve revenge with a nice warm pecan gravy. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets molested. Idle hands are the devil's prayer book. In all my days, I've never seen a book made of hands. He who laughs last, didn't get the joke and is just laughing so everybody doesn't call him stupid again. Knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is clarity and clarity ultimately leads to more confusion, so stay stupid and happy. And if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, pay her and be on your merry way. Sew before you rape. Always be a good listener, unless you're at a national socialist rally. Never dance with the devil unless you are a contestant on Dancing with the stars. Honesty is the worst policy. Never put off till tomorrow what you can steal today. And lastly, speak softly and always put your dick away. 

Detroit v. Buffalo: The Bills are, by record, the worst team in the league which makes them the most dangerous. We won't see Detroit in the playoffs this year but the Bills have nothing to lose. I'm itching to pick the Bills because they're due, but I won't. This game could turn out to be ironic. The Lions are the only team ever to go 0-16 and the same thing could happen to Buffalo. If I were Detroit, I'd be looking to make sure the Bills lose. I believe this game means more to Detroit then you think. Don't forget, allot of the guys from that 0-16 squad are still there. Detroit 21 Buffalo 16

Minnesota at Chicago: Anybody see the Farve interview where he says that he is not coming back next year? I believe him this time. Hey Brett nobody would fault you if you just laid down man. But he won't. I want to take the Vikings this week but I think the Farve magic is becoming more and more inconsistent. I'm taking Da Bears. Chitown 27 Vikings 24

Jets v. Browns: Here's another weird game. Browns QB Colt McCoy has been a breath of fresh air for Cleveland fans and has strung together two wins against the Saints and Patriots. Browns head coach Eric Mangini has to be looking to take down his former team and his defensive coordinator is Rex Ryan's twin brother. Crazy stuff. This game sounds like something out of a bad sports movie. I'm not sure about that Jet offense. They barely get on the board now and if there's a hint of cold or a raindrop, quarterback Sanchez will fold like a house of cards. But here's the difference maker in this game. That Jet defense will haunt Colt McCoy all day. This is the first time he'll see such explosive speed and shutdown coverage. Gotta take the Jets. Jets 31 Browns 21

Bengals at Colts: Bye bye Bengals. Colts 35 Bengals 17

Houston V. Jacksonville: I just don't like the Jags. They are everything I hate about football. Piss warm weather, no talent, ugly uniforms, a suck coach, running qbs, total ick. Houston 28 Jags 9

Titans at Miami: The Titans will debut league hot potato Randy Moss. Miami is the little train that sucks. I never know where I stand when I pick a game that the Dolphins are a part of. They're just too gimmicky still. I hate that wild cat shit they do and all that other stuff that screams,"We don't know how to win straight up so we'll turn the game into 3-card Monte". F U Dolphins. F U Tony Sparano. Oh yeah I forgot, everyones favorite whipping boy is back, yep you guessed it, Chad Pennington. This should be good. I remember when Pennington first came into the league. Everyone was like, "This guy is so smart and he's a finesse passer". What's a smart football player? One who doesn't close his dick in his zipper. Oh and Finesse is just code for...weak arm. Titans 23 Dolphins 21

Carolina at Tampa: Oh jeez this one baaa-lows! Tampa 17 Panthers 6

KC at Denver: I'm still a big believer when it comes to Kansas City. I like these players. They have heart and are doing allot with a little. As far as Denver goes, I can't stand Orton. I hate his stupid baby head squished into a helmet. Even his name is stupid. WTF is an Orton? It sounds like an old pickle or that mucus that builds up in the back of your throat when you have the flu. He's one of those guys that looks like his name too. "Hey look at that guy with the plaid pants playing checkers! What an Orton!". KC 30 Denver 22

Seattle at Arizona: Seattle is terrible. Arizona isn't much better but I'm taking them because they are at home. Arizona 24 Seattle7

Cowgirls at The New York Football Giants: Scary game. NY is banged up on the O-line. Steve Smith is out with a pulled tit muscle. The Cowboys will look to pummel Manning and ruin the Giants season like NY did to Romo and the Boys'. Former head idiot Wade Phillips is finally gone like he should be and Jason Garrett takes over for at least the rest of the year. Dangerous game here fellas. If the Giants lose this one, the result could be: Dallas gets new life and makes a run at the playoffs. I hope not. I'm still taking the Gmen though. NYG 34 Cowboys 27

Rams at 49ers: Rams 21 49ers 10

Sunday Night, New England at Pittsburgh: Nice game. Really tough to pick too. I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. But I do like Pittsburgh at home, in the prime time. I'll take the Steelers 38 Patriots 31

Monday Night, Philly at Washington: An NFC East war. This is always a good game especially since McRibb is now a Redskin. I have to pick the Eagles but I hope they lose. Eagles 24 Redskins 14

That's all chumps. Please tell your friends about me.

 

Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House" I'm Back Baby!

Hello again ambulance chasers, grave robbers and your own mother salesmen. You must have been wondering, "Where is Lombardi? I can't make my picks without him because I'm a big sissy boy and can't think for myself". Well I'm back and better then ever. No I wasn't dead again. The most popular ghost in Limbo is here and is going to get you your fortunes back. So without further adieu here's Ghost of Lombardi's Bet! The! House!

Disclaimer: Ghost of Lombardi is not responsible for any and or all loss of possessions. Yes I know that this segment is called, "Bet The House" but maybe you shouldn't take it so literally. I mean, you don't come to a stop sign and just stay there forever do you? Oh my God you do! What an idiot. Ok I forgot that I was dealing with man children. Listen, I'll admit that my picks are gold but betting your dwelling on a sporting event is plain crazy. Maybe you should consider other activities in life. How about a nice walk in the park with your dog? No? What about a game of cards with some of your best pals? No. Oh right I forgot that you degenerates would bet on that too. Is nothing sacred? Do you have to run through your day betting on everything? Hey there's an old lady crossing the street! Let's bet on whether or not she gets hit by a car! You're all just sick. Well you are what you are I guess. Obamas going to India, you guys hear about that? 200 million a day for security? Wow! I'm giving 2-1 odds on whether he gets hit in the head by falling coconuts or attacked by vicious sharped clawed pack monkeys. Not my idea of a vacation but anything is better then sticking around the ole' USA after your party just took a shellacking in the elections. Great! Now the republicants have power again. Back to the times of the rich getting richer! But that's what America is all about right? Our economy is only healthy if country club memberships are up and newborn babies are in the streets mouth fighting with pack wolves for the last lickins' on a half eatin' can o' beans.  Can o' beans? Do people even eat that anymore? I mean I see it on the shelves in the supermarket but are people eating it anymore? They must be or why would they make it anymore? The same goes for spam; the canned ham or whatever it is. I don't think I know anyone who eats any of that shit. I'd like to meet these people who are eating can o' beans and spam. It makes me wonder though. Have I ever turned down a dinner engagement where the menu was can o' beans and spam and I didn't know? Thank god. Couldn't image myself trying to make polite conversation while eating that stuff. Have you ever done that? You get invited to someones house for dinner and the food is awful and you just sit there crying inside while eating something that you have no idea what it could be? How embarrassing. I'm like, "Umm this is good, I can't wait until I shit glass shards and bloody diarrhea". Now that's good eats. Holy shit, I was just thinking about something that happened to me. True story. I'm a little kid right. And I'm playing basketball in my friend's yard and his very very old grandma opens the screen door and asks me if I would like to join them for dinner. I'm like OK, I mean my mom probably didn't make anything anyway. Why throw a meatloaf in the oven for your kids when you can sit there and polish off a bottle of vodka right? Anyway. So me and my friend go in his house and sit down. Now at this point his grandma finished eating and started to serve us food. My pal starts eating and I look down and notice that I don't have the proper utensils. So I'm like, "Can I have a fork and knife please?" By the way, I still have no idea what this plate of mush was but I knew if I passed this meal up, I might not eat again until school starts and it's July. So anyway, grandma is like, "Oh dear let me get you a fork". She slowly walks over to her half eatin plate of food, picks up her fork, licks it clean with her 100 year old saucy phlegm mouth and hands it to me. I swear to God this happened. Also, I used her fork. Till this day I throw up in my mouth when I think of the story. On to football.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta. This is a difficult game. First place in the NFC North is on the line and both of these teams can go either way. The Bucs are the surprise team of the year. I think they're 5-2 or something like that. I'm not sure if they are as good as their record. Guess we'll have to see as the season goes on. Stat wise, Atlanta is more productive and if you compare the two on paper, Atlanta wins. Plus Atlanta is at home, whatever that means. I'm taking the Falcs. Nobody calls them the Falcs but remember you heard it here first. Atlanta 24 Bucs 21

Miami in Baltimore. Believe it or not, these teams match up well. On paper they are almost identical other than records. Miami is 4-3 and Baltimore is 5-2. However I'm not sold on Miami, I think they're too gimmicky. Take the Ravens. Baltimore 38 Miami 20

Chicago at Buffalo. The Bills have made an improvement this week, which says allot about Buffalo. "Small victories". They have acquired former Chargers linebacker Shawn Merriman off waivers. He's a good addition but his production has nosedived in the last 3 years. Chicago is still hot and cold but they should have more then enough for the Bills. Chicago 17 Bills 10

Saints at Panthers. Hahaha. That says it all. The Saints aren't last years powerhouse that puts up 45 a game but this week will be a throwback to last year. Who dat' gon beat dem Saints? I hate hate hate that expression. Sooooo F'in stupid. How can one glorify such poor English? Awful. Take the Saints and their third grade level English in this one. N.O. 35 Carolina 14

New England in Cleveland. Hahaha Part duix. New England hasn't missed a beat without Randy Moss. Bill Belichick can turn a garbage can filled with Cleveland jerseys into a football player. And Cleveland; Are they even trying to be a football team anymore? No matter who is running that front office, it's the same every year. Do you think they're sitting there in July and are like, "What can we do this year to suck badly?" But that city loves them anyway. Remember when the Browns left and the city sued to keep the name? Who fights to keep a losing tradition? The judge must of been like, "Are you sure you want to keep this team." That's like someone dubbing you an asshole and then you take them to court to make sure the world keeps calling you asshole. Patriots 31 Cleveland 3

Jets v Lions. Detroit isn't the league's punchline anymore. In a truly weird season, the Lions have emerged as a formidable opponent and the Jets offensive struggles are becoming laughable. Even when the Sanchise plays well, WR's are dropping balls. And Rex Ryan is so desperate that he's trying to make the punter run for 70 yards a game. I don't know about this game, it could really go either way. I think I'm going to regret it but... Jets 14 Lions 10

San Diego at Houston. San Diego is leading the league in total offense and defense. They are also leading the league in passing and defense against the pass. So why the losing record? Well I'll tell you, they just can't finish. Credit to Rivers, he's going to be something special when they get the players he needs. Rivers has been running a passing attack with two tight end sets and an up and down running game. Fact of the matter is, Houston is on the rise and San Diego is magically un-delicious. Texans 28 Chargers 17

Arizona at Minnesota. The yuk game. Let me reiterate, "Brad Childress is a complete retard". It's like Sloth from the Goonies finally broke out of his chains and they made him head coach of the Vikings. Why would you trade for Moss and then dump him after three weeks just to lose a third rounder? He should've kept Moss and blamed the whole thing on him at the end of the year. Instead, he'll surely be fired for this one. Secondly, It's a miracle that Brett Farve is even alive at this point. He broke bones in his foot two weeks ago, then he took a vicious hit to the chin last week, media scandals, the loss of three week Moss. What a mess. He's got to be saying, "Why oh why did I come back for this when I could be in Missouri, driving my four wheelers and eating squirrel." Poor Brett. Lucky for him that Arizona is a wreck. The Cardinals management has really ruined this team and must have Larry Fitzgerald begging to be traded. Derek Anderson at QB? Really? What idiot seen Anderson in Cleveland and said, "You know this guy would be great if he wasn't a Brown". I can't believe some of these decision makers have jobs. Minnesota 26 Arizona 12

NYG at Seattle. "Whaaa whaaa its loud in Seattle" is what I've been hearing all week. Just shut up already. If the Giants lose because of that shitty crowd then they don't belong in a Super Bowl run. I agree that the noise presents a problem but good teams have to get past that. Seattle will start a guy who has never completed an NFL pass. Before that, Hasslebeck was sacked 13 times in the last two games. This new kid, is dead. I predict 10 sacks for the Giants in a blowout. NY 41 Seattle 10

Kansas City at Oakland. The Chiefs are one of my favorites this year. I've been picking KC all year and I'm not going to stop now. Credit to Oakland for being tough this year though. And that running back they got is putting up some impressive numbers. Anyway, Chiefs 24 Oakland 21

Indy at Philly. I'm not betting against the Colts for the rest of the year. I had Houston beating them last week and got killed. If you read the injury report before the game you would have seen that everyone on the colts that mattered was injured with the exception of the great Peyton Manning. Eagles WR DeSean Jackson is back this week but I think he still has moths flying around in his head after that hit he took last month. Colts 28 Eagles 20

Sunday Night: Dallas at Green Bay. Can you believe the state of affairs in Dallas? Me neither. They are truly in a cliff dive. They weren't good with Tony Romo and they ain't getting any better with John Kitna. Is it John or Jon Kitna. I'm not sure but I hate when people spell it Jon. Stupid, why do people do that? To feel special? What about Thom instead of Tom, F'i annoying. The letter "H" has been disrespected for too long. If "H" isn't important then let's just get rid of it. Now that we're talking about it, I vote to drop the letter "X" completely and merge the letters "y" and "i" into one super letter that makes a sound that can only be heard by kittens. And the sound can only be made by split tongued humans. Then we'll all have to go to the hospital for special surgery to get split tongues to accommodate this new super letter. Awesome. Let's really take evolution into our own hands and laugh in the face of God. Just kidding God, you know I love you dude, high five! Green Bay 27 Dallas 13

Monday Night: Pittsburghhhh at Cincinatti. The Steelers, come on man. I hate the Bengals and my mantra, "Never pick orange teams" is becoming law instead of gamble. F the Bengals where they breathe. I'm so tired of turning on the TV only to hear that they haven't been disbanded. I'm for completely getting rid of all the letters that make up "bengals" just so we don't have to speak their name ever again. Steelers 19 Bengals 6

That's all for now bitches! Good night and good luck.

Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House" Week 6

Hello Gentlemen, Dames, Junkies and Gentlemen Dames. I haven't posted much this week, it's been a busy one. I went out drinking the other night with Bear Bryant and Art Carney. Those fellas can still party. We were two-fisting Brandy Alexanders, Rusty Nails and Slim Mickys like it was the 1920's at the ole' speakeasy. Anyway, It's time for another installment of Ghost of Lombardi's BET! THE! HOUSE! If you're new, here's how it works. I give you predictions, insight and graceful genus found no where else. Then you take what you've learned here, call your bookie and BET! THE! HOUSE!

Disclaimer: Ghost of Lombardi is not responsible for any or all loss of possessions. If you can't act like a big boy or bet like a man, that's your own fault. If you lose, don't come complaining to me that, "Papa never loved me, all I wanted was a hug and he was too busy with his trollops and Pabst Blue Ribbons to take a look at some wooden ship model that I put into a bottle. Then he called me a pussy and told me to get a job but I was only 12. Who would hire a 12 year old for anything? What could have I done at 12 that would have been profitable? A newspaper route I suppose but I didn't even have a bicycle because Papa spent all the Christmas money at the track. Nice Christmas huh? You know what he gave me? Two packs of Lucky Strikes, a bottle of club man cologne and a can of Schaefer. He's like here, Merry Christmas pussy, you're a man now. And I'm like but I asked Santa for a bicycle and an Erector Set! He's like, there is no Santa boy, he died from a VD he got getting a "happy trumpet" from a dirty strumpet."  

Miami at Green Bay. These teams are hard to predict, they're both very unstable. Miami has been dubbed, "an up and comer" for years now but the last time we seen them play, they were slammed by New England 41-14. Green Bay just hasn't been the same since running back Ryan Grant went down for the year. And last week's heartbreaking loss to Washington came down to a field goal that hit the post; dead on. However, I do like the Packers in their own building. The crowds' always electric and there's something magical about being at home in Lambeau. Packers 24 Miami 10

Baltimore in New England. Maybe it's just me but I think this could be the AFC game of the week. This is the Patriots first game without WR Randy Moss but they have reacquired Deion Branch from the Seahawks. I don't know about that one. If anybody can get something out of an old player it's Belichick but I think Branch has seen his best days. The Ravens are 4-1 and their defense has been outstanding. I'm going to say this will come down to whoever's defense falters first. And I think It'll be New England's. Ravens 35 Patriots 28

Kansas City at Houston. Are the Chiefs really this good? I don't think they'll get any credit until they're in the playoffs. Houston has to be out for blood this week though. My questions about Houston are: "Will Andre Johnson be healthy? What about Arian Foster?" The Texans keep saying they're ready to go but I think it's all talk. Plus, once a team picks apart another team's offensive scheme like the Giants did last week, all bets are off. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going with the Chiefs. Kansas City 21 Houston 17

Atlanta in Philly. The bird match. The Falcons are playing really well (4-1). I would have liked to see Michael Vick play against his former team but it looks like sh-thead Kevin Kolb gets the start. They say Vick will be ready to go but we just don't know what that means. Vick is battling a rib injury. Rib injuries seem to be a Philly favorite. Remember when McNabb got hurt and they started calling him Donovan McRibb? Classic. Anyway, I'll assume Vick is out and Kolb is his usual suck self. Atlanta 27 Eagles 20

New Orleans comes to Tampa. This years Saints have been a shell of themselves but that's what happens to Super Bowl squads isn't it? The Bucs are 3-1 but their wins are over Cleveland, Carolina and Cincinnati. Their only loss was a spanking from Pittsburgh. So to put it politely, the Bucs are better then worst. The Saints should be able to squeak out a win. N.O. 24 T.B. 21

Seattle at Chicago. This will be a special teams game. Jay Cutler expects to get the start for the 4-1 Bears. He better, I can't watch clipboard captain Todd Collins anymore. The Bears are a weird team. Sometimes they win through the air and other times, the offense disappears and the game is won on special teams. Unless Seattle's Leon Washington can return 2 kicks again, I don't see them winning this one. Bears 29 Seahawks 17

Lions at Giants. This should be highlight day for the Giants. If they win, people will say, "Well it's the Lions, you should win that one" but if they lose, all hell will break loose. Lions safety and former Giant's bust C.C. Brown ripped Manning for being unstable earlier this week. And said the NY media controls the G-Men and were responsible for him getting yanked during last year miserable defensive outing. C.C. is a man in denial. He was awful last year and probably peaked when he was a Houston Texan. Look for Manning to show up big and pick apart this Lion secondary like they were soaking wet cardboard cutouts. Also notable, usually when a player comes out trash talking before a game, his team loses and he gets embarrassed. Giants 35 Lions 10

Cleveland at Pittsburgh. "Never pick orange teams"-Ghost. Pittsburgh 38 Cleveland 14

San Diego in St. Louis. The battle of the 2-3's. The Chargers are better then their record reflects. I'm amazed that quarterback Phillip Rivers can make that offense dangerous out of two-tight end sets. I guess the Rams could win this one but I'm going Chargers. As always, the Chargers will find themselves in a close game. I feel like I've seen Rivers run the two-minute offense more than any QB. San Diego 24 Rams 22

Jets in Denver. NY's Darelle Revis will not play. Seems that hamstring is still giving him problems. But man oh man, what about Antonio Cromartie? This is the best that he's ever played. Rex Ryan must be on his knees praying cause without a shutdown corner, he can't blitz every down. This Jet defense is very impressive. They're fast, they get to the ball and play outstandingly in man coverage. Nothing good to say about Denver. They're just filling the schedule so it's all even around the league. Jets 34 Broncos 24

Oakland at San Fran. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Look for a game filled with mistakes, penalties, fumbles and INTs. These teams are sh-tty at best. I feel like the Niners will win but their QB Alex Smith is garbage. He'll play well up until the fourth quarter and then he'll crack. It'll be anyone's game. I don't know what to say about Smith. It's like he's the complete opposite of a winning QB. He starts hot and ends cold. If the Niners lose, look for head coach Mike Singletary to be on the hot seat. Wouldn't be surprised if he was fired before they clear out candlestick. I'm taking San Fran on a gut feeling alone. 49ers 14 Oakland 13

Dallas at Minnesota a.k.a Debbie does herself cause Dallas can't get up. There are a few parallels in this game. Both are 1-3. Both desperately need a win. And both have complete idiots for head coaches. This could come down to coaching or lack thereof. If I told you back in January that these teams would start off the season at 1-3, you would've said, "Ghost what are you drinking? Meth juice?" I can't believe it. It's not for lack of talent. I mean Dallas is stock piled and deep on both sides of the ball. Minnesota has experienced some key injuries and Brett Farve hasn't been himself. Also, Childress has to learn from coaches who have dealt with Farve. "Don't let Farve run the team." Let's face it, that's why he was pushed out of Green Bay early.  If it were completely left up to Brett, his stats at the end of a game would be 49-76 attempts, 642 yards passing 3 TDs, 7 INTs, Loss in the column. Hopefully Brett and Randy worked out that fly route and they can put Dallas in an early grave. I'm taking the Vikings at home. Minnesota 42 Dallas 30.

Sunday Night: Indy at Washington. The Colts don't look like themselves and it appears that McNabb and Washington have made a deal with the devil. But I like Manning in prime time. That's why I'm taking the Colts. Indy 28 Washington 17

Monday Night: Tennenensnensnenenesnsnsnesee at Jacksonville. I don't like this game at all. Ick! Who picks the schedule? I would've never put this game on in a prime time spot. The Titans are better then the Jaggie-wars, so that's my pick. Enough said, no reason to talk about this one. Tennenenensnensnensee 27 Jags 14

That's my picks. Good day.

Ghost of Lombardi's Sh-t List

It's week 6 of the 2010 NFL season. I want to take this opportunity to reflect upon some thoughts that are swirling around in my head like wind in the old Giant's Stadium. Some teams are faring much better then we thought i.e. The Chiefs and others are on the brink of a top 5 pick in the 2011 draft. Let's pick apart this year so far. Welcome to Ghost of Lombardi's Sh-t List.

First on the list is the 49ers, mainly quarterback Alex Smith. I am so f-cking tired of this guy. Every year we hear the same sh-t! "This is the year for the 49ers, it's their year" Shove that line where it belongs. Smith, a first over-all pick in the 2005 draft is slowly becoming another early round bust. Here's another line from that team, that if I hear one more time; I'm going to walk to San Francisco and punch Singletary in the face..."Alex Smith is the future of this franchise".

When!?!?!?! Motherf--king when?! He's in his 6th season and if it hasn't happened yet, it will NEVER happen. The Niners were well on their way to defeating the Eagles on Sunday Night and Alex Smith fell to pieces like a little girl in Toys 'R' Us, who's mommy wouldn't buy her a new Barbie. Enoughs enough, If you want the 49ers to be a contender again; go get a QB. Why not let David Carr get the start? Teams always do this. Once they label a guy, "The future" they are so afraid to pull the plug fearing they will look stupid about their erroneous prediction. This guy is clearly a bust. If Eddie DeBartolo was there, he would have shot him. Move on.

Alex Smith's stats from year one until week 2...

38 TDs, 47 INTs, 7529 yards passing, 69 QB rating. Yawn, F'in yawn.

Next on the hit list...Viking head coach Brad Childress. And when I say, "Head coach", I mean "Useless guy who has Zero positive impact or input" on the Vikings. Childress isn't in charge and is the head coach by name alone. Why does he give Brett farve free reign when the game is on the line? Vikings-Jets Monday Night...All the Vikings needed to do was march 30 yards and get a field goal to end the game. What does Childress do? He let's Brett Farve throw like it was going out of style. Childress consistently abandons the running game when it's necessary. I hate his stupid face already. He has the look of "what went wrong?" when everyone knows that "what went wrong" is Childress.

Hey Childress, when you standing there like a stupid statue, Farve and Moss were on the sidelines making their own plays like it was a sandlot game. You don't think the Jets seen that? What did you think? That your sideline was protected by an invisible force field? Retard. By the way, Randy Moss joined the team 4 days before the game and didn't know the playbook, yet you let Farve try to force passes to Moss ALL NIGHT LONG. And Randy was covered by a REDHOT Antonio Cromartie. Gimme a break. Did you ever hear of the word decoy? No I guess not. If anybody was playing chess with Childress, I'd imagine that all you have to do to win is point and say, "Look! Bigfoot!" and Childress will turn around and you can put all your pieces back on the board. F'in idiot. This guy could be out smarted while thumb wrestling a 3 fingered toddler.

Next! Wade Phillips. Let me ask everyone something, "How does Wade keep getting hired as a head coach?" Lifetime head coaching stats on Phillips... 81-54 regular season record, 1-4 in the playoffs, .600 winning percentage. Let me get a few things straight. I never liked this guy for one. I mean, if you need him to put together a great defense; he's your man. But he isn't a leader and doesn't belong coaching the Dallas Cowboys. This team is stocked with talent and yet they are 1-3.

Wade's teams have always been like this for the most part, "Allot of talent but they blow up in a big spot and always get flagged for stupid penalties". After TE Jason Witten scored the other day against Tennesseesesesesssesee, Witten hands the ball to an offensive lineman who then spikes it. Flag! Now Dallas has to kickoff from their own 15. The Titans run it back to the Dallas 5 and score a TD on the drive. Game over. That penalty killed Dallas.

Wade is one of those," buddy buddy" coaches who always has undisciplined teams. His players should be aware of the rules but Wade is a piss poor head coach. The only reason he's been in Dallas this long is because Wade is from Texas and Jerry Jones must feel some sort of kinship with this native son. If this talent stocked Dallas squad doesn't turn things around, heads will roll and Wade will be the first to go.

Kudos to Rex Ryan. I can't believe I said that. During a Jet pregame show, Rex was asked a Viking trivia question..."What was the nickname of the Vikings defense in the seventies? Rex quickly responded with, "The Purple People Eaters" and then went on to name it's front four and their backups. Good job Rex on your NFL history but you're still a fat a-hole. But good job anyway.

Things that drive me crazy....

To the Colts defense. Peyton can't do everything. Can you guys overpower a team and lead the Colts to victory? Give Manning a break. Colts lose and cameras turn right to Peyton as if to say, "Maybe Manning isn't that good, the loss is his fault." Come on son, this isn't the NBA where 1 guy can lead you to victory every game.

T.O. tweets before a game. Come on Owens, you know the rules. No tweets before the game. If this guy worried a much about football as he does about his misspelled tweets then we might be crowning him, "Greatest WR in NFL History." But instead, he's a trouble making bum without a ring. Hey Owens, you've already played for 5 teams. 27 to go!

Eagle's QB Kevin Kolb. Not "the future" as they say. He plays like a scared wuss and always has the look of panicked constipation on his face.

Eagle head Coach Andy Reid. Eat some vegetables. You're getting fatter every year. What do you eat for dinner every night? Deep fried Doughnuts filled with chop meat covered in chocolate oil sauce? That's not healthy.