Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House"

Hello football junkies and bettors anonymous 12 steppers. Welcome once again to Ghost of Lombardi's "Bet The House". Hope you made a fortune off last weeks picks, I know I did. We're in that weird part of the season where making picks is most difficult. Nobody has emerged as a clear favorite and teams that are not getting much attention from the media, will likely be playoff surprises. So be cautious and remember Al Pacino this week..."On Any Given Sunday...". Ok let's get started.

Disclaimer: Ghost of Lombardi is not responsible for any or all loss of possessions. Remember, bet wisely and friends never let friends bet drunk. A bird in the hand is worth two in the prostitute. A penny saved is just a f'in penny, so throw it in the garbage because they are worthless. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, he probably has AIDS. He who has the gold makes the rules, so find that greedy little bastard and tear his face off with a well built metal glove. It is better to have loved before and lost then to never have loved at all, bullshit. Every cloud has a silver lining; but only if you have diabetes and blurry vision. There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow and a gay leprechaun ready to blow you. Revenge is a dish best served cold, unless of course you serve revenge with a nice warm pecan gravy. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets molested. Idle hands are the devil's prayer book. In all my days, I've never seen a book made of hands. He who laughs last, didn't get the joke and is just laughing so everybody doesn't call him stupid again. Knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is clarity and clarity ultimately leads to more confusion, so stay stupid and happy. And if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, pay her and be on your merry way. Sew before you rape. Always be a good listener, unless you're at a national socialist rally. Never dance with the devil unless you are a contestant on Dancing with the stars. Honesty is the worst policy. Never put off till tomorrow what you can steal today. And lastly, speak softly and always put your dick away. 

Detroit v. Buffalo: The Bills are, by record, the worst team in the league which makes them the most dangerous. We won't see Detroit in the playoffs this year but the Bills have nothing to lose. I'm itching to pick the Bills because they're due, but I won't. This game could turn out to be ironic. The Lions are the only team ever to go 0-16 and the same thing could happen to Buffalo. If I were Detroit, I'd be looking to make sure the Bills lose. I believe this game means more to Detroit then you think. Don't forget, allot of the guys from that 0-16 squad are still there. Detroit 21 Buffalo 16

Minnesota at Chicago: Anybody see the Farve interview where he says that he is not coming back next year? I believe him this time. Hey Brett nobody would fault you if you just laid down man. But he won't. I want to take the Vikings this week but I think the Farve magic is becoming more and more inconsistent. I'm taking Da Bears. Chitown 27 Vikings 24

Jets v. Browns: Here's another weird game. Browns QB Colt McCoy has been a breath of fresh air for Cleveland fans and has strung together two wins against the Saints and Patriots. Browns head coach Eric Mangini has to be looking to take down his former team and his defensive coordinator is Rex Ryan's twin brother. Crazy stuff. This game sounds like something out of a bad sports movie. I'm not sure about that Jet offense. They barely get on the board now and if there's a hint of cold or a raindrop, quarterback Sanchez will fold like a house of cards. But here's the difference maker in this game. That Jet defense will haunt Colt McCoy all day. This is the first time he'll see such explosive speed and shutdown coverage. Gotta take the Jets. Jets 31 Browns 21

Bengals at Colts: Bye bye Bengals. Colts 35 Bengals 17

Houston V. Jacksonville: I just don't like the Jags. They are everything I hate about football. Piss warm weather, no talent, ugly uniforms, a suck coach, running qbs, total ick. Houston 28 Jags 9

Titans at Miami: The Titans will debut league hot potato Randy Moss. Miami is the little train that sucks. I never know where I stand when I pick a game that the Dolphins are a part of. They're just too gimmicky still. I hate that wild cat shit they do and all that other stuff that screams,"We don't know how to win straight up so we'll turn the game into 3-card Monte". F U Dolphins. F U Tony Sparano. Oh yeah I forgot, everyones favorite whipping boy is back, yep you guessed it, Chad Pennington. This should be good. I remember when Pennington first came into the league. Everyone was like, "This guy is so smart and he's a finesse passer". What's a smart football player? One who doesn't close his dick in his zipper. Oh and Finesse is just code for...weak arm. Titans 23 Dolphins 21

Carolina at Tampa: Oh jeez this one baaa-lows! Tampa 17 Panthers 6

KC at Denver: I'm still a big believer when it comes to Kansas City. I like these players. They have heart and are doing allot with a little. As far as Denver goes, I can't stand Orton. I hate his stupid baby head squished into a helmet. Even his name is stupid. WTF is an Orton? It sounds like an old pickle or that mucus that builds up in the back of your throat when you have the flu. He's one of those guys that looks like his name too. "Hey look at that guy with the plaid pants playing checkers! What an Orton!". KC 30 Denver 22

Seattle at Arizona: Seattle is terrible. Arizona isn't much better but I'm taking them because they are at home. Arizona 24 Seattle7

Cowgirls at The New York Football Giants: Scary game. NY is banged up on the O-line. Steve Smith is out with a pulled tit muscle. The Cowboys will look to pummel Manning and ruin the Giants season like NY did to Romo and the Boys'. Former head idiot Wade Phillips is finally gone like he should be and Jason Garrett takes over for at least the rest of the year. Dangerous game here fellas. If the Giants lose this one, the result could be: Dallas gets new life and makes a run at the playoffs. I hope not. I'm still taking the Gmen though. NYG 34 Cowboys 27

Rams at 49ers: Rams 21 49ers 10

Sunday Night, New England at Pittsburgh: Nice game. Really tough to pick too. I don't know, your guess is as good as mine. But I do like Pittsburgh at home, in the prime time. I'll take the Steelers 38 Patriots 31

Monday Night, Philly at Washington: An NFC East war. This is always a good game especially since McRibb is now a Redskin. I have to pick the Eagles but I hope they lose. Eagles 24 Redskins 14

That's all chumps. Please tell your friends about me.